Elijah Wood To Star in Iggy Pop Biopic - 'The Passenger'

[article contributed by Kate Nacy]

Iggy Pop is widely known as the Godfather of Punk, if not the Godfather of All Things Badass. He is an animal, and he sings about menstruation. His fans chuck light bulbs and lit cigarettes at his head. Have you ever been nailed in the face with a light bulb? I doubt it.
The fact that he hasn’t dropped dead is a sheer marvel.

For an upcoming biopic about his early life entitled The Passenger, Elijah Wood was cast to depict the sinewy Stooge.

Yes, Elijah Wood. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? The young actor has lent his talent to controversial film projects such as Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, The Adventures of Tom Thumb & Thumbelina and Flipper. Additionally, he is responsible for making my two-sizes-too-small heart melt every time I think of wagons and domestic abuse.
Elijah Wood is made of marshmallows and sunshine, Kumbaya and circle jerks.

Iggy Pop is made of opiates and bathroom floors, abs and sodomy.

MDMA was undoubtedly involved in the making of this decision. Only under the influence of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine would someone be disoriented enough to believe that the repugnantly cherubic Wood might somehow capture the raw grime of Iggy Pop, a man responsible for songs including “Cock in My Pocket” and “Butt Town.”

To his credit, Elijah Wood is probably a cool enough guy. I could even see myself hanging out with him. Just Eli and I, sitting in bean bag chairs and talking about the Stone Roses while we smoke pineapple-flavored tobacco and play pogs.

But it would always come back to this: no matter how long I stared into his marble-sized eyes and admired his microscopic pores, no matter how long I listened to his geeky, self conscious hee-haw of a laugh and watched him fiddle with his horn-rimmed glasses, I would still really want to see Frodo take one in the face with a light bulb. It’s something I just can’t get past.


*The Passenger is still in production, but due for release sometime this summer.