Harry Chapin
This time next year your life will be different. You'll be happier or NOT. Skinnier or NOT. Married or NOT. Either better or worse. Most of us are too passive. We ride along waiting to see how it'll turn out. Perhaps it's time we started driving our own bus. Perhaps we could use a personal coach.
There was a haunting song by Harry Chapin a few years back. "Cats In The Cradle" reminded us that time is flying by and what's important to us - relationships, passions, values...They need to be savored NOW before it's too late. The guy in the song was stuck in his pattern, his rut. His continuous promise that he'd get to it next time kept him from what he valued most. He let other things become his routine. And so he lived a busy, but unfulfilled life. He didn't have a coach.
Nowadays if a person wants to change, get rid of old habits and embrace new ways, the choices are endless. There are countless self-improvement books, endless arrays of instructional courses offered by community schools, colleges and the latest guru from Oprah. Opportunities abound!
Many jump on board for the latest self improvement crazes. Eventually, what starts in a fury slows to whimpers and complaints. It's difficult to change. Old habits die hard. Information and intention takes you just so far. After tasting reality, most resign themselves to exit excuses.
"Well, I tried."
Now there's a way to apply insights you receive from books and classes. You CAN become the person you desire. Get a life coach!
What began a few years back as a motivational tool for the corporate world has grown into the equivalent of having a personal trainer. Coaching has become part of the personal development and training industry that is worth over $100 billion a year worldwide. Life Coaching as a stand-alone profession has come into its own in the last few years. Executive coaching, retirement coaching, family coaching, teen coaching...anything in life can now become a focus of personal coaching. Sessions can be delivered in person, over the phone or even on the internet.
Coaching is different than counseling. Counseling tends to be "problem focused." When the client comes to understand their problem then it will cease to be a problem. Counseling is a therapeutic process that mostly involves the past. Coaching, on the other hand, targets the future.
A coach helps a client look forward. Examine where they are now and where they want to be in the future. Setting goals, providing feedback, perspective, inspiration and new ways of handling situations are valuable coaching tools. It's like having someone running alongside you in life, giving you the extra input and encouragement that can really make a difference to your success.
Awhile back a client came to a life coach with the intention of learning communication skills. He thought he could then apply them to his staff. The coach listened and agreed to help. They signed a standard three-month partnership. Twelve 50-minute hour sessions is a good accountability arrangement.
After listening and getting a better feel for the client, the coach got him to prioritize his life. Values, relationships, possessions, goals...the whole spectrum. After this insightful and revealing exercise it became clearer what the client really needed. Direction!
Too many paths, too many irons in the fire and too many demands for his time. Normally you might think that this is a good time for some clear-headed advice. That's what friends and family usually do. Consultants are often hired for their input and advice. Been there heard that. Advice is cheap. Coaches can run $50 to $350 an hour.
Sure a coach CAN offer advice. NOT the good ones though. The idea is to employ the wisdom of Solomon with the skill of Socrates. When asked a question, Socrates answered with a question. This annoyed some but usually led the questioner to invest more of himself so he discovered solutions. Answers are easy. They're at the back of the book. It's the journey, the formula, the recipe that the client seeks. Personal and professional growth and change is what's really sought.
Give answers and you undermine self-esteem by proving they couldn't have done it without you. Good for the ego of the coach but bad for the client. Empowering a life plan, better choices and improving productivity must come FROM the client.
So a good coach listens, guides and opens doors but doesn't provide a numbered sequence of instructions. We already have the 10 Commandments and the 7 Habits. The key to success is not in the knowing what to do. It's in the DOING and that's where a coach can help. A good coach gets you to discover, own and apply solutions. Whose solutions? Yours!
Finding a good coach can be a challenge. Anyone these days can call himself or herself a coach. Even those who are certified may not possess the skills. Ask around. Interview them before signing on. Get references.
The coaching process I use is MOVVE! - Mobilize, Organize, Visualize, Verbalize and Energize! Becoming a better version of yourself means playing the character you want to be with all the motivation, planning, walk-the-talk behaviors and emotional intelligence that will MOVVE! you toward your goals. I have never experienced a better process for helping people succeed.
If you want to make the most of your career, relationships, health..., whatever it may be, then coaching is probably an effective resource to consider.
Shrink is what they call a counselor. Expand is what you do with a coach.
Isn't time for you to MOVVE! toward your success?
Jamie Cox has been a staff development consultant, motivational speaker and life coach locally and nationally for over 20 years. He facilitates MOVVE! -A CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT PROCESS for The Empowerment Group. [http://www.movvetoimprove.com]
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Harry Chapin--Taxi
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