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"Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts."
Alan Cohen
"I feel so unappreciated. I work hard and share good ideas but no one acknowledges what I do. Nothing ever changes, our department is in chaos and morale is low. You know, my boss really doesn't see people as important. I'm just a resource - a bum on a seat!"
John, Coaching Client.
John's story is a common one in business. Many people leave their jobs because of feeling unappreciated. Frustrated talent walks out of the door because everyone is focused on getting the job done, hitting the target or meeting those insane deadlines at all costs. Many managers process manage their people rather than leading them and appreciation is a rare commodity.
We forget to appreciate the extra time and effort that John put into deliver the project. How someone pitched into to help us achieve a tight deadline. Appreciation is something that we just forget to do.
Lack of appreciation doesn't just happen in the work place it can happen at home too.
Last Thursday as I was coaching John, I remembered that it was Thanksgiving Day in America. Many of my US friends have taken a long weekend off to visit the family. Thanksgiving is a time for reflection and gratitude for the people in your life, for what you have, for what you do and for the beauty that surrounds you.
Appreciation is not just an annual event. It is a conscious state of mind and the more gratitude we have the more we receive. It's a Universal Law! Go on... Test it out for yourself, you'll be surprised!
Showing appreciation is such a simple thing to do and it can be so powerful. It really makes a difference to the person on the receiving end. Appreciation is such an important motivator for us yet in the hustle and bustle of busy life we forget to pause to take a moment to be grateful and communicate our appreciation for those around us.
It isn't about promotions and pay rises - these are soon forgotten. Appreciation is about demonstrating that you care. If you look back at your life it's those people who believed in you, made you feel special, or have helped you grow and learn. Mrs May, my primary school Headmistress was my first ever role model. I was 5 years old and starting school it was a big event! She made me feel appreciated and special from day one. She gave me confidence through my primary school years and looking back, I know that she genuinely cared about her pupils. She made me feel appreciated and touched my life.
Why not make appreciation a habit?
Having a daily ritual of reflection is a great way to create a habit of appreciation. My coach taught me this.
Every evening before I go to bed I write down at least 5 gratitude's in my journal. These are people, things, animals, events that I am grateful for. I stop to pause and be thankful for how each one touched my life that day.
This practice reminds me to communicate my genuine appreciation by sending an email, a card, some flowers, making a donation or phoning someone to say thank you.
It's a great habit to practice each day!
Elaine Bailey is an international personal coach, learning and development consultant, trainer, writer and a sought after international speaker.
Elaine has a Masters Degree in Coaching & Mentoring Practice with Oxford Brookes University and is Chartered MCIPD qualified. She has been coaching and developing people for over 15 years. She has published articles on the findings of her thesis: 'Can a line manager be an effective coach?'
She describes herself as a personal coach, helping individuals to develop positive mindsets and behaviours to stop settling and surviving and start creating and thriving in their life. She coaches busy individuals to live creatively from the inside - out.
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