Punk Rock on the High Seas: A Mika Miko/Bad Parents Review

After we poured half a fifth of whiskey into our tanks, we were ready to board the Rocket Boat. The Rocket Boat is basically a speed boat large enough to fit about 40 seats (a number that has since become 35--the mosh pit took up half the boat, and several chairs were casualties.) Anyway, the Rainbow Rocket for the Butt Rockin’ Boat Ride is a punk show on a boat. On Friday the lineup featured LA's Mika Miko and LB's Bad Parents (ex Geisha Girls). So with a zephyr behind us carrying the smell of human waste (that Long Beach natives know and love so well) we embarked upon an inebriated, tune-filled journey around the Long Beach Harbor.
As far as the show goes: According to the flier, Mika Miko played with 3 other bands: NASA Space Universe, Le Face, and Contaminators (no "the"). Unfortunately, the boat's PA system is so bad that catching the names of these bands was about as easy as moving around. All I know is that one band dropped out and was replaced by Bad Parents. And I guess I probably shouldn’t tell you this, cause you were probably one of the people who were sent away after the boat hit capacity, but: I've seen Muse with less than 3,000 other people and Immortal Technique with less than 300 other people, and Friday night on the Rocket Boat was honestly the most fun I've had at a show in a long time.

--Contributed by Jeff Phifer
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Oh so you wanna mosh on a boat now too, do ya? Then get your ass down to dock #7 on Friday Feb. 8th to check out Bad Parents, F. Neighbors, Red Hearts, and Vomit Bomb. Cover is 7 bucks. Here's a map if you're confused by the lack of a physical address:

The results of a YouTube Overdose: Zounds and The Plasmatics

Hey do you guys like Crass? Ok then you'll totally dig these guys. They're called Zounds, and they're this post-punk band from the UK with an anarchist edge a la Crass but a bit of a darker sound. Like if that crusty punk could also be goth, then you'd have Zounds. Sorry if this shit's common knowledge--personally I don't know how I went through a Crass phase and missed these guys. I feel cheated or something. At any rate, I got this little gem from a friend of mine who goes on these youtube kicks and spends like hours just streaming music videos. (Apparently he still has an original Zounds single, pictured to the right, released in 1981.) Now, I know we all know people that have that same addiction, but [in my experience] I find it a rare occurrence that these people will actually play anything that's GOOD. This is good. Even if it does sound almost a little too much like Crass.

Another good result of last night's youtube overdose: this clip of The Plasmatics on the Tom Snyder show. Apparently it's widely considered to be one of the greatest television clips in history. What do you think?

I think that statement's a stretch, but I do think it rules. See, The Plastmatics had this chick singer named Wendy O., and Wendy O. was kind of amazing. I'm sure you'll agree that any chick who would come up with the condition that her band won't perform on national TV unless they get to blow up a car could pretty much be the coolest girl who ever existed. I tend to consider myself pretty awesome at times, but there's no way I would ever even think to propose that condition, let alone actually believe it would work. Wendy O. was way cooler than me. I'll admit it. 

See you cats later.

Elijah Wood To Star in Iggy Pop Biopic - 'The Passenger'

[article contributed by Kate Nacy]

Iggy Pop is widely known as the Godfather of Punk, if not the Godfather of All Things Badass. He is an animal, and he sings about menstruation. His fans chuck light bulbs and lit cigarettes at his head. Have you ever been nailed in the face with a light bulb? I doubt it.
The fact that he hasn’t dropped dead is a sheer marvel.

For an upcoming biopic about his early life entitled The Passenger, Elijah Wood was cast to depict the sinewy Stooge.

Yes, Elijah Wood. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? The young actor has lent his talent to controversial film projects such as Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, The Adventures of Tom Thumb & Thumbelina and Flipper. Additionally, he is responsible for making my two-sizes-too-small heart melt every time I think of wagons and domestic abuse.
Elijah Wood is made of marshmallows and sunshine, Kumbaya and circle jerks.

Iggy Pop is made of opiates and bathroom floors, abs and sodomy.

MDMA was undoubtedly involved in the making of this decision. Only under the influence of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine would someone be disoriented enough to believe that the repugnantly cherubic Wood might somehow capture the raw grime of Iggy Pop, a man responsible for songs including “Cock in My Pocket” and “Butt Town.”

To his credit, Elijah Wood is probably a cool enough guy. I could even see myself hanging out with him. Just Eli and I, sitting in bean bag chairs and talking about the Stone Roses while we smoke pineapple-flavored tobacco and play pogs.

But it would always come back to this: no matter how long I stared into his marble-sized eyes and admired his microscopic pores, no matter how long I listened to his geeky, self conscious hee-haw of a laugh and watched him fiddle with his horn-rimmed glasses, I would still really want to see Frodo take one in the face with a light bulb. It’s something I just can’t get past.


*The Passenger is still in production, but due for release sometime this summer.

"I am The Rhythm Thief. Say goodbye to the beat!"

This video is epic. Don't know who Sparks are? Remember that movie Valley Girl from like 1983? Nicholas Cage played the sexy punk rock boy and the girl who played Dotty in Pee Wee's Big Adventure was the slutty best friend? Ok, good. So remember the part in the movie when that kid goes to this girl's house who has a crush on him, and you think he's going to return her book, but then they make it look like he's boning her mom in the shower, except it turns out that it's really the girl and not the mom? No? Well whatever, the point is that the song playing in the background during that scene is Sparks' 'Eaten By The Monster Of Love.'And it rules. They also have a song called 'Angst In My Pants,' and 'The Fanatic,' both of which also rule.
Good stuff, I tell you.

Back to the matter at hand.
This music video is the title track from their album, 'Lil Beethoven, which, to be honest, is not a spectacular record. But c'mon, seriously guys, how many musicians spend their entire CAREERS trying to make something sound as awesome as awesome as this ONE song?

About a bazillion.
That's a fact.

Just frickin' watch it already.