Moody Blue
My husband is a near saint. He is one of the most even tempered, optimistic, fun loving men I've ever met. One of the things I love about him is how moody he is not. He's a rock. Which is why when he does occasionally have a blip on the mood-o-meter it sends me into a near panic. That, and of course I have a previous-life history with moody men. In all honesty, it's probably mostly that history that sends me sliding sideways.
The last couple of days, David, my nearly perfect beloved has been a bit off his game. Not grumpy, but not his happy-go-lucky self either. Like most women I know, I have a tendency to take it personally. "What did I do??" "What can I do???" I mean, of course it's all about me, isn't it??? It's not. I know this for sure because of course, I've asked. Now, I am better then I used to be. These days, I ask once, maybe twice, "What's wrong?" "Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?" In my not too distant past I could turn a mates mood into an inquisition that only made the gloomy mood darker - if not down right hostile.
It's times like these I get to practice what I preach. No one else has to feel good for me to feel good. This can be a tricky proposition when you live with someone. However, I have developed some coping strategies for how to weather the winds of someone elses less then pleasant mood.
- Get out of the room. He doesn't want me hovering around him anyway. So I'm better off reading in the bedroom or on the computer in the office.
- Do something to pamper myself. Nothing like a do-it-yourself facial and pedicure to take up more than an hour of an evening. I may not know how to cheer him up, but I do know how to exfoliate, so why not stick with what I what I'm already good at.
- Have a trashy novel on hand for times just like these. Just because he's isn't in the romance vibe, doesn't mean I can't be.
- Download more fabulous music for my ipod and play it just loud enough that it's clear fun is being had - in another room.
- Meditate or do yoga. I also own a palates bench that I haven't once used - that could be a wonderful distraction.
Basically what I'm saying here is when the vibe with any of the members of the Casa isn't as high as it could be, my job is to work extra hard to make the party even more exciting for me. I will not get sucked in or down and I will do that by having even more fun. A fun vibe is a lot more attractive to a mate that is a little blue, then a desperate, pleading, what's wrong with me/you vibe. A lot of fun is enticing to a man who might want to stick his head out of the proverbial emotional man cave. More importantly, whatever I'm doing that's not focusing on someone elses downer, is more fun for me - and I am the only one I am responsible for. That's right. Just me.
So - I bid you good night and sweet dreams as I am off to bed to read a trashy book, with smooth skin, and wonderfully cheerful new music on my Ipod.:)
Lisa Hayes is the author of HOW TO ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP HELL. She is a mother of two, yoga instructor, hypnotherapist, and internet project manager. Lisa likes long walks on the beach and naps. You can contact her at http://www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com.
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