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What woman does not dream of a debonair, successful, charming, witty, fun and handsome man to lavish her with attention? Well, I'm sure there are some who would answer in the negative, but I don't know any. Turning the tables, what man does not dream of a demure, coy, leggy supermodel vixen that's great in the kitchen, loves animals and likes your mother? Again, few would argue against such a woman. The fact remains, however, that the world has few who can fill the tuxedo of James Bond or the evening gown as well as Claudia Schiffer - that's why they are special and in such demand.
One should not feel depressed, however, just because all prospective dating partners do not walk the runway in Milan or Paris. We all have an idea of what "attractive" means to us and there are as many variations on that theme as there are people. Looks are to people what a flashy cover is to a romance novel. If the story therein does not captivate, one can only be satisfied with the picture for so long before the book is put down in search of one that grabs you by the imagination and whisks you away into the story. Forgive my use of metaphor. I digress...
At first meeting, some might think my husband and I to be a bit of an odd couple. He's more than ten years my senior, quintessentially American in his food tastes (he's getting better), has many hobbies and interests, employs a diplomatic approach to problem solving and is principled in abiding by the rules in life. I, on the other hand, am a decidedly proud of my Russia heritage in food choice and customs; like him I'm a voracious reader; unlike him, I challenge authority and often confront problems directly - sometimes without consideration for diplomatic resolution. I like to "get things done". We both laugh about that. 
While he's tall and handsome, kind, courteous and smart, it's the text of his story that keeps me interested beyond the cover (and I hope the same is true in return!). Plainly said, he's interesting. You see, he usually has something to say about any topic of discussion and rarely is it trivial. He's always learning, he's always reading and learning and he takes the time to find out what is important to me. I can take him anywhere with me in unfamiliar surroundings and he will engage anyone in conversation. I never worry. Far from a chatterbox, he's genuinely interested in the process and substance of discourse. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's a good listener and, when called upon to respond, actually has something to say. Too often, I found, the men I dated in America and Canada "did not have much to say" of substance. They were not engaging and I was, for lack of better terms, bored.
Russian women, as I contrast them with most American peers I have come to know (OMG like..you know...?), have a broader exposure to cultural studies, have a more direct outlook on fulfillment via accomplishment and they look to share time with a man who can keep them engaged beyond merely physical attraction. Russian women tend not to, as they see it, "waste" time on idle gossip and can communicate clearly without inserting the filler phrases "like" and "you know" and "OMG" every 6th word in a sentence. Yes, that's a broad stereotype but one that is too often predictable and true.
Just like anyone else, we love to have fun! I love to nurture my inner child with visits to amusement parks - to have my treats and to "let go" of responsibility. For me, roller coasters will never grow old. Hee hee. But the ability to be engrossed in a conversation and stay up talking until 5 AM about philosophy or politics or adventurous travel plans or...well, anything...is the cake upon which we layer the frosting of amusement parks.
On the other hand, I admit that I have always liked the looks of both Kevin Costner and Bruce Willis and the funny, manly, in-charge action characters they play (insert your own movie star fantasy here). Still, I want more...to be engaged and challenged and to be with someone that who can connect with me once the movie stops.
So...yada yada yada...what's my point in this rambling missive? Quite a simple one, really: if you're an American guy interested in a Russian woman, please have something of substance to say; have an opinion; have a hobby...mostly, have a passion about something and be willing to share it. Take me on the adventure merely by describing it to me. If you want a, you know like, OMG, a Valley Girl, California is calling your name. If you want a loyal, beautiful, dedicated Russian woman (I'm biased), be interested in the constant process of learning and be open to creating new adventures together with her! I have a "special term" for this - I call it "being interesting."
For anyone seeking a relationship with a hot-blooded Russian woman, look beyond your book's cover to the actual story.
Tamara von Schmidt-Pauli is a native of St. Petersburg Russia who has been visiting, and living in, the United States and Canada since 2002. She holds bachelors and masters degrees, with honors, covering teaching of language and translation and currently resides in the greater Minneapolis area. Tamara is affiliated with Prime Language Services - http://www.PrimeLanguageServices.com, providing online live Russian Language Teaching and Translation Services.
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