She Wants
Ryan dreads special occasions like Valentine's Day, his wife's birthday, their wedding anniversary and others. His wife has made it clear to him that she loves romance and would like more of it in their marriage.
The trouble for Ryan is that he does not consider himself to be a romantic guy. He never has been one for flowers, poetry and anything mushy or sentimental. He most certainly loves his wife, but he isn't interested in tapping into his "softer side" as she not-so-subtly and frequently asks him to do.
On the other hand, Ryan would like his wife to be in the mood for sex more often. Even after all of these years together, he still gets very turned on by her body, her personality and just about everything about his wife.
Sometimes it seems to Ryan that he and his wife want very different things. He doesn't know how they can both be completely satisfied without one of them giving in and pretending to be something that he or she is not.
Perhaps your wife has not told you outright that she'd like you to be more romantic, but she's given you some clear hints. Or, maybe she has made the request that you shower her with flowers, give her lovey-dovey cards and find ways to sweep her off her feet.
Just like Ryan, you might not consider yourself to be romantic at all. To you, being romantic might seem out of your character or even somehow unmanly or even feminine.
The thing is this... If your woman is asking you to show your love for her in specific ways and you refuse to even try, she is going to probably be disappointed and she might even take it as a personal statement of how unimportant she is to you.
I'm here to tell you that your wife's request for more romance from you and your desire for more sex and appreciation from her are not so far apart. I'm also here to tell you that being romantic is very much in line with being a man-- a man who wants to have a red hot and close relationship with his woman.
Try these 3 ways to be romantic...
#1: Stop telling yourself that you're not romantic.
First of all, you might need to re-think this whole notion of romance. You can actually take her breath away in a very strong and masculine manner. If cards, flowers and mushy poetry aren't for you, that's fine.
Open your mind and start to question your thoughts when you tell yourself that, "I'm not romantic," "It's unmanly to be romantic," "She'll never like the ideas I come up with anyway," and so on.
Instead, invite yourself to express your love and appreciation for her in creative and new ways that are also in alignment with who you are. Let your desire for her show up throughout the day-- not just in those moments before you'd like to have sex with her.
#2: Find out what "romantic" means to your woman.
If you feel self-conscious about trying out being romantic or you are drawing an absolute blank when you try to think of romantic things to do for your woman, ask her for suggestions.
Set aside your pride and ask. You might say something to your partner like, "If I could provide the most romantic evening for you, what would it look like?" You can give her exactly what she asks for or you can generate more ideas from her suggestions.
You can also experiment around with ideas that you find online, read about in books or hear about what someone you know has done with his woman. Try something and then notice how your woman responds. If she moves closer to you and is more affectionate, it's probably something you'll want to do again or expand upon.
#3: Step outside your comfort zone and just do it!
We all box ourselves in, to some extent, with beliefs about who we are, who we have to be and the limits of what we can and cannot do.
Let's face it-- these "boxes" can become comfortable and familiar, even if they don't always serve us and allow us to expand and grow.
If you are truly wanting to improve your relationship with your woman and to have more affection, appreciation, love and sex with her, then it's absolutely necessary for you to step outside your comfort zone or box and become more romantic than you are now.
Set challenges for yourself and then follow through and actually do the things you intend to do.
Don't just do it for your woman and don't just do it for you...do it for the joy and pleasure and connection it will bring to both of you.
Otto Collins teaches men the secrets to lighting up their woman and shares men's marriage advice. He offers a free report: "The 10 Biggest Relationship & Passion-Killing Mistakes Men Make and What To Do About Them" when you sign up for his FREE relationship advice newsletter for men at LightHerUp.com Â
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